Ching Szuen

you only want to be with someone if that person brings you joy and comfort, peace and companionship, laughter and contentment. in truth, we’re always searching for these features to be in our lives. for if we can achieve all that, then life has a meaning. there is a reason to live. so if you think you can get that from someone you’re with, then you should put in your effort and try to give the same things to the other.

when i was younger, i used to think, alright. this is me. i’m not gonna change for anybody. and if i’m gonna be with someone, she’s gotta accept me for me and don’t expect me to change. but as i mature and go through some experiences, i realise that just wouldn’t work. in truth, the significant other would always want to make us a better person. not just so that he/she gets to benefit out of the changes you make, but also the satisfaction that he/she is able to spur you on to improvement by giving you inspiration and drive.

so now i think, well…to be with another person, you will always have to change certain characteristics of your behaviour to complement the other. you’ve gotta want to make the change to make things work between the both of you. and you should never say ‘forget it. this is me. it’s either you accept it, or you bugger off.’ cos in truth, if you’re going to maintain that stance, all those joy, comfort, peace, companionship, laughter and contentment would not be achieved. they will always remain out of your grasps if you are unwilling to compromise. chinese people always say it’s hard to live under the same roof as another. so if you can’t even live with the other in a different roof, then what chance have you of touching bliss when you are under a same roof?