Ching Szuen

do you have any idea what i mean when i say that there is something you want, and you know your chance of getting it is less than 0.01%, but you won’t take your eyes off it because you know that all your life, you were waiting for that something to appear. maybe you’ve only had your eyes on it for a short while, but you know that in your heart, in your mind, you’ve been wanting all that that something can give you. and that is why you won’t take your eyes off it, even for a second. and then, that 0.01% diminishes to 0. today, i felt the effect of that. and though i thought i had prepared myself better for it, it did not do me good.

anyway, quite cool to have them around. i’ve lived alone here for so long that it’s nice to have some company during the weekend. friday night, we went to holland village for some food, drinks and watch footie. saturday, we went orchard road for shopping, then suntec city for more shopping and dinner at tony ramos. or romas. or whatever. i don’t care i get it wrong, aileen. that was real good. ribsssss. mmmmmmm….the girls sure liked the bones. *ahem*

then at night, lei ling and poh lin slept earlier. but aileen and i stayed up chatting while watching mtv, and then footie. been so long since i had a nice long chat like that so it was pretty cool. we stayed up till 5am when aileen couldn’t take it anymore and fell asleep on the couch. hahaha so i turned off the tv and went to sleep too.

this morning, woke up for footie but was raining heavily so got cancelled. ended up following the girls to bugis for more shopping. craziness. so they carried their bags along for shopping cos will go straight to bus station to go back to kl. and guess who had to handle the luggages while the shopping gets underway? no prizes for the right answer. they did get me a nice little miniature cologne though. it’s this polo black cologne. apparently it’s really new. and my word, it’s nice. it’s damn nice. i wanna buy the big bottle. but the girls got me a little one for consolation for the timebeing. haha

i am so sick of getting that line from women who think they’re older than me and are able to be my ’sister’ and teach me a thing or two. the matter of fact is, look, you’re only a few years older than me. does that mean that you know more about life than me? does that mean that you have more experience in life than me? does that mean that you are qualified to teach me what life is all about? i don’t need a sister. i have one. and one is enough. i respect all your intentions to educate me on life, but i have tasted all that i need to face the rest of my life with my head held high.

so i like to act a little silly all the time. i believe that does not in any way justify my maturity, ability nor knowledge. i should point out that in my office, i often crack jokes, jump around, do weird and funny things. that is my way of de-stressing. life is stressful enough as it is. nobody needs another person moping in the office, sulking about how horrible life is or how depressing work is. i like to entertain. i like to be entertained. does that mean i’m just a kid who knows nothing about life?

recently a colleague was in serious dilemma about whether to resign or not. i spoke to him in all seriousness, pointing out the pros and cons of his options, advising him of the sensible action to take. i remember that conversation. he kept saying to me ‘dude, i’m shocked’ or ‘dude, is that really you over there?’ i guess my character don’t always reveals the strong, opinionated and more mature side of me but i would like to command some respect and credibility. will that only come from acting all serious and boring? am i any more matured or clever to be sitting straightfaced in the office 24/7? why is it that i am always misunderstood? why do i feel so misunderstood?

after playing for bout 30 mins, it started to rain real heavily. game went on and played under the rain for over 1.5 hours. not great for the fever if you ask me. but wasn’t gonna give up the chance to play footie was i? then when it was over, started to really feel the effects of the rain and fever. clothes were all wet as well so totally pointless to change. but luckily colleague brought extra jersey so i changed into that. surprisingly able to fit into the M size. had previously chose the size of my EY jersey to be XXL cos wasn’t sure what’s it like. will have to change that. shorts were horribly uncomfortably drenched. arghh..

oh..the footie session with colleagues was a ‘training session’ in preparation for a tourney next month. not sure if i wanna be in after today. no disrespect to the players but expected them to be better. don’t mean to sound boastful, but i would like to join a tourney to win, rather than to ‘just have fun’. plus the sessions are way too far for me. have to travel bout an hour each way just to get there. will go for another few sessions maybe before making my mind up. we’ll see.

anyway, after a light lunch, we went to have fruit juice before proceeded to walk around what seemed like the whole of the underground and a nearby shopping mall. fire offered to buy me women shoes to go with a skirt if i dared to put them on. i was tempted.

after that we walked to chijmes, a place with loadsa bars/pubs. was a pretty nice place but with that comes a price. and it was quite expensive. there, we met up with joe who i haven’t met since leaving manchester. was cool to catch up. extra cool when the first thing he said to me was that i lost weight! hahahaha it’s not true, but good news nevertheless. haha i think when ppl don’t see me for a long time, then we meet up, they always think i have lost weight. it’s probably because it is imprinted in their minds that i’m fat. i’m not sure if this is a good or bad thing. haha

then later on, sarah came to chijmes to meet up with me. we had a good time chating and everything, and she got to know who’s the infamous beaver. lucky her. so we hung out there, watched footie, then proceeded to leave. so joe and beaver went off, and sarah and i decided to catch a movie with her bro and his gf. we tried to make ourselves feel better by saying we’re on a ‘double date’. hahahahah ended up watching the benchwarmers at 1:10am. it was REALLY GOOD. hilarious movie. i highly recommend to everyone. btw, some cinemas here open 24 hours during weekends. how cool is that? bored at 4am? let’s go catch a movie!

then came home at 3am. tai uei and edwin suddenly added me to a chat. the topic we discussed shall not be mentioned here but it was really funny too. hahaha let’s just say some ppl were probably sneezing in their sleeps. hmmmm…ended up sleeping at 4am. haha